Do not waste your precious time chasing people

This post is a FEATURED BLOG POST on Positive Atmosphere’s Website!

Do not waste your precious time chasing people who are not interested in being a part of your life. The people you choose to surround yourself with should appreciate, value, nourish, and support you. And you should do the same for them. In Joel Osteen’s book Every Day a Friday, he shares some interesting statistics:

  • 25% of the people you meet will not like you
  • 25% of the people you meet will not like you but could be persuaded to
  • 25% of the people you meet will like you but could be persuaded not to
  • 25% of the people you meet will like you and stand by you no matter what

Find the people who like you and will stand by you no matter what. And when it comes to true friends, focus on quality not quantity.

It is also important to realize that those statistics go both ways. You are not going to like everyone and everyone is not going to like you. You do not have to accept everyone and everyone does not have to accept you. Any anxiety related to rejection or acceptance is taken away once you realize that YOU also have the right to reject and accept.

Think about it, you respectfully reject and accept every day without even knowing it. You may meet someone, politely talk for a while, say goodbye, and then never see that person again without even giving it a second thought. Or you may meet someone and strike up a great conversation. You may think to yourself, “we have a lot in common” or  “I’d like to get to know this person better” so you ask for their phone number in hopes of a new friendship or relationship.

There will be times in life when another person does not value you. They may make you feel like YOU are the lucky one to be in a friendship or relationship with them. Or they may make you feel like you have to take a number or get in line to spend time with them because they are too busy. Or they may be constantly watching their watch while you are with them because they have their mind on being somewhere else. These types of friendships and relationships will most likely fade away especially if you are the only one making all of the effort. Don’t waste your time pursuing people who don’t mutually respect or appreciate you.

In other cases, people may reject you from the very start or reject you after getting to know you. As painful as that may be, remember you also have every right to reject someone who you don’t feel connected to. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel any less about yourself. Just because they reject you doesn’t mean that you don’t have anything to offer. Look at it as “it’s their loss” NOT “it’s my loss.” You deserve people in your life who love and respect you.

Make the intention to be the kind of person you want to meet or the friend you’d like to have. Be kind and respectful. Love and value yourself. Truly believe you have something amazing to offer. If you’ve suffered the pain of rejection in the past, let it go, don’t focus on that. Don’t be afraid of rejection, don’t fight for approval, don’t beg for acceptance. Just go out there and be yourself. KNOW that people who celebrate you WILL come into your life. And be there with an open heart to receive them!

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Thanks for reading! Make it a great day! God bless!

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6 Responses to Do not waste your precious time chasing people

  1. Simon Wells says:

    Whenever i have chased people and tried to create realities it has always finished up in tears-it always does,the trick is not to force anything,because if nature has intended it will happen anyway,just get on with your life and look at anything good as a bonus,but never take anything for granted because nothing is promised or guaranteed in this world.

    • ~J says:

      Hi Simon, I completely agree with you! Forcing anything is emotionally draining. So as you mentioned it is best to seek and pursue natural friendships and relationships. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing your life lesson! Blessings! ~J

  2. reynaldi says:

    Good article! In my experience, if someone could be persuaded to like me, he could also be persuaded to hate me. So don’t waste our time with 75% of the people we meet.

  3. Ian Phillips says:

    On my third visit to Nicaragua. I thought I had 3 people I could enjoy the season with, I knew them from past visits. In the end I felt I was doing the chasing. They all knew how to contact me. I am almost ready to leave, it turned out others surprised me. Neighbours or the newspaper guy at the park or even my teacher at school. Every visit I have had here the result was different from what I planned. Perhaps the lesson is there will always be people who will share your sense of humour and make your day. Just allow it to happen

    • ~J says:

      Thank you for taking the time to comment Ian, I apologize for my delayed response. It can be disappointing when things don’t turn out the way that we planned, but as you said, I am learning to just allow things to happen. And if I feel like I am chasing and/or if things feel unnatural with others (i.e., I can’t be myself around them), I am ok with respectfully letting those relationships go…so that I can make time and room for more meaningful relationships. Blessings to you ~J

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